Last week (March 27-April 3), the HWS campus celebrated Sex Positivity Week for what was, as far as I know, the first time in its history. The event (or perhaps more accurately, events) was put together by the HWS Women’s Collective and included a variety of activities that corresponded to the theme “Sex Positivity.” I think it’s important though to address what exactly is meant by “sex positivity”, because (speaking for myself, and based on a number of conversations I’ve been privy to) there seems to be a fair amount of misinterpretation—or at least oversimplification—of the term.
I’d venture to say that many people would consider most college campuses to be pretty sex positive spaces; that is to say, that a high number of sexual encounters happening within those communities seems to be accepted as a norm, a practice that seems almost inherent within campus culture. This interpretation of “sex positivity” as the equivalent of “pro-sex” is extremely common because… well, the two phrases do seem like synonyms at the outset. That’s definitely what I thought when I heard the phrase. What I realized though, after I’d lived with it for a while and even helped plan for some of the events for HWS Sex Positivity week, was that actually “sex positivity” connotes something WAY more awesome. Sexologist Jill McDevitt, who came to our campus to do her workshop/interactive presentation defined it via a spot-on (if a little campy) saying: “Don’t yuck someone else’s yum.” Aka. sex positivity is about being open and accepting about sexuality, however it manifests, in yourself and in others. Aka. quit sex-shaming, everyone.
Given this definition, I started to see that most college campuses, HWS included, are in more need of sex-positivity that I thought. Sometimes I feel like sex shaming has almost as big a presence on this campus as sex. So it was definitely gratifying to see almost every seat filled for Dr. Jill’s presentation (which you can read about at http://www.thesexologist.org/colleges.html and you should because it was pretty great). The problem with sex-shaming, in my opinion, is that, apart from the fact that no one is able to inhabit their most kick-ass and powerful self when feeling ashamed, is that it shuts down yet another opportunity for solidarity. Like any other kind of internal policing of societal norms, sex-shaming just disempowers us. We’re all so afraid of exhibiting “abnormal” behavior that our idea of what’s “normal” is skewed. We’re all running around trying to be or show that we’re “normal” when in fact “normal” has just become whatever we’ve been conditioned to believe it should be, and not what the majority of us experience. Side note: if you’ve looked at the link I’ve provided above, you may have guessed that the workshop Jill McDevitt did at HWS was “Sex: Am I Normal?”
The bottom line of sex-positivity week for me was that it simply encouraged a more open dialogue about sex, and consequently, about EVERYTHING. It is a way of attempting to break the habit we have of silencing ourselves and each other, of oppressing each other, and remember how much more fun life is when we don’t.
I’d venture to say that many people would consider most college campuses to be pretty sex positive spaces; that is to say, that a high number of sexual encounters happening within those communities seems to be accepted as a norm, a practice that seems almost inherent within campus culture. This interpretation of “sex positivity” as the equivalent of “pro-sex” is extremely common because… well, the two phrases do seem like synonyms at the outset. That’s definitely what I thought when I heard the phrase. What I realized though, after I’d lived with it for a while and even helped plan for some of the events for HWS Sex Positivity week, was that actually “sex positivity” connotes something WAY more awesome. Sexologist Jill McDevitt, who came to our campus to do her workshop/interactive presentation defined it via a spot-on (if a little campy) saying: “Don’t yuck someone else’s yum.” Aka. sex positivity is about being open and accepting about sexuality, however it manifests, in yourself and in others. Aka. quit sex-shaming, everyone.
Given this definition, I started to see that most college campuses, HWS included, are in more need of sex-positivity that I thought. Sometimes I feel like sex shaming has almost as big a presence on this campus as sex. So it was definitely gratifying to see almost every seat filled for Dr. Jill’s presentation (which you can read about at http://www.thesexologist.org/colleges.html and you should because it was pretty great). The problem with sex-shaming, in my opinion, is that, apart from the fact that no one is able to inhabit their most kick-ass and powerful self when feeling ashamed, is that it shuts down yet another opportunity for solidarity. Like any other kind of internal policing of societal norms, sex-shaming just disempowers us. We’re all so afraid of exhibiting “abnormal” behavior that our idea of what’s “normal” is skewed. We’re all running around trying to be or show that we’re “normal” when in fact “normal” has just become whatever we’ve been conditioned to believe it should be, and not what the majority of us experience. Side note: if you’ve looked at the link I’ve provided above, you may have guessed that the workshop Jill McDevitt did at HWS was “Sex: Am I Normal?”
The bottom line of sex-positivity week for me was that it simply encouraged a more open dialogue about sex, and consequently, about EVERYTHING. It is a way of attempting to break the habit we have of silencing ourselves and each other, of oppressing each other, and remember how much more fun life is when we don’t.